Penny and the AnaMia Angel
by SkinnyLittleSlut
Summary: Sheldon's incapability to accept social conventions has hindered him in the past.. But this time, can his basic understanding of human behaviour help him save Penny from an eating disorder? Shenny in later chapters, As well as reactions to Shenny. Rated M for later chapters, some language and adult themes.
1. Chapter 1 - Sarcasm and Garbage Bags

**Hey, so, this idea has been rattling round my head for a while. I thought I'd write a first chapter, and if enough people like it, I'll carry on. It's late, so bear with me. Unbeta'd. **

**Disclaimer: I owit nothing, sosososos sadly ;P **

"Oh I'm sorry, does your body mass somehow link in with your self-worth?"

Sheldon's words rang through Penny's mind as she thrust her fingers once more down her raw throat. She gagged slightly as the last of her stomach contents came up, along with a wave of acid. Tremors were skittering up and down her hands as she collapsed down next to her toilet, tears streaming down her face. After she caught her breath, she jumped up, staggering as a wave of dizziness faded her vision, and ran into her kitchen. Before she could change her mind, she seized a plastic bag, and grabbed every item of junk food she could find, shoving it into the bag. When she was finished, she threw open her apartment door, and jogged down the stairs, holding the garbage bag at arms length like it was going to bite her.

"Penny?"

Penny ignored the call, rushing past the person who said her name. Her door was wide open.

Penny ran into the street and threw the bag into the nearest bin she could find. The night was warm, and rustled against her bare legs as she made her way back to her apartment building. She went through the door and climbed the stairs, wincing as the breath caught in her sore throat. When she reached the fourth floor, she found Sheldon stood next to her door, an inquisitive expression on his face.

"From your failure to acknowledge my presence in the latter moments, I am forced to assume that the bag you rushed past me with contained something highly dangerous and possibly harmful."

Penny smiled at the irony of Sheldon's statement.

"Well look at you, Mr. Perceptive!" Penny drawled. Sheldon frowned.

"Sarcasm?"

Penny laughed.

"Yes sweetie."

Sheldon sighed.

"Penny, I do wish you'd refrain from utilising facetious language around me. I understand that exposure on a near constant basis is the way for me to learn and imitate social conventions, but I am having difficulty deducing when your language is mocking or not, and to be frank, I am not entirely certain that sarcasm is an accepted social normality."

He paused, sighing at her blank expression.

"Um sweetie.. I have no idea what you just said, so I'm just going to go ahead and.. You know, head back into my apartment.."

Penny retreated away from Sheldon with a smile, but once her back was turned, her eyebrows knitted downwards into a worried expression. Shutting her door, she thought about the events of the last 20 seconds. When Sheldon had been speaking Sheldonese, she'd been forced to tune out, but found she couldn't pull her eyes away from his. The intense blue ones had seemed to look right through her fake exterior smile and into her soul, which harboured her deepest, darkest secrets. She'd been terrified of speaking, in case he smelt the vomit on her breath, and had been forced to retreat into her apartment.

Inhaling deeply, Penny headed over the the treadmill she'd recently purchased and constructed in her living room.

Twenty minutes later, drenched in sweat and gasping for breath, Penny kept running, the words Sheldon had spoken to her so long echoing around her mind.

"Oh I'm sorry, does your body mass somehow link into your self worth?"


	2. Chapter 2 - Sodium and Social Convention

**Hey! I know these chapters are short, but they'll get longer, I promise! I don't know anything about physics people, so I googled it. Its probably not politically correct, but hey, sue me. If Penny seems a little OOC, I apologise, I guess I'm mirroring my own thoughts onto Penny. I only have a vague idea where this story is going, and all and any reviews are doted on. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own, I'm not profiting. **

Penny rocked back and forth, clenching her fists together in her pyjama bottoms. Her music was blaring, and her iPad in front of her, with the beginnings of a story scribed on it. But she had lost faith halfway through the writing. She felt full, uncomfortably so. A few minutes before, she'd eaten three huge chocolate chip muffins, and had spent 10 minutes rationalising eating in her own mind, trying to convince herself that it was okay. She took a swig of her diet soda, and tried to return to her fiction, but she was beginning to get hot and bothered, like she always did when something was on her mind.

"ARGH!" she screamed, pulling her confining pyjama trousers off, and swapping them for some discarded shorts. Her hands were shaking with anger, and her neck began to ache. She threw back her head, trying to exercise out the crick, but the failure made her even more frustrated. She felt tears rush into her eyes as she sprinted to the bathroom, dropped into her place in front of the toilet, and once again stuck her fingers down her throat.

The food came up easily now, and when she was finished, she didn't move, hugging the toilet and crying over the hole. She felt pathetic, but her nerves had calmed down. Penny flushed the toilet, and got up, washing her hands clean and scrubbing the nails.

*Knock knock knock*

"Penny."

*Knock knock knock*

"Penny."

*Knock knock knock*

"Penny."

Penny inwardly groaned. She grabbed the mouthwash from her sink, quickly swilled her mouth out with it, and spat it out, running to open the door.

"Yes Sheldon?" she snapped.

"Apologies for the intrusion Penny, but Leonard left to go and see a Freidman talk."

"Ah, Friedman. Great guy."

Sheldon raised his eyebrows.

"Why didn't you go?" Penny asked.

"Personally, I find Dr. Friedman to be quite shallow and pedantic. He might have discovered the Quark, but the man himself is way too smug."

Sheldon held out a steaming bag.

"I brought Chinese food."

Penny's stomach flipped.

"Oh my god, Sheldon! I can't eat that! Chinese food is so overloaded with sodium, not to mention the amount of grease its probably cooked in! I can't even.. Oh my god, ew!"

Penny walked away from the door, her hands clapped over her mouth in horror. Sheldon followed her inside, his face wrinkled in confusion.

"But you had Chinese food last Friday night. You even ate Raj's leftovers when he ran out crying."

"Oh, so now I'm fat?! God, Sheldon!" Penny screamed.

"I don't understand how my bringing you Chinese food is so upsetting to you. I researched it at length and discovered bringing someone food is considered a friendly gesture which makes them more obliged to invite you inside and eat it with you. In addition to this, you appear to have misconceived my words as a remark on your body fat percentage. However, even if I was making a comment on your amount of fat, I do not see why that would be upsetting to you."

"Of course you wouldn't, look at you! There's barely anything of you, Sheldon!" Sheldon frowned.

"In my study of and interactions with the typical American male I have discovered that the slimmer a build the woman is, the more sexually desirable she appears to get to them." he said thoughtfully. "But I don't see how this is a reason to not eat Chinese food?"

"You don't get it, Sheldon. If I eat and keep it in my system, I'll get even fatter than I already am! You don't think I notice the looks I get when I walk down the street, every man thinking 'oh my god, what a fatty!' and every woman looking down on me!"

"Then wouldn't the solution be to eat a little healthier and exercise more? I hardly see how refraining from eating is helpful, Penny."

Penny considered this for a second.

"Every time I start eating, I feel like a fat failure. And the only way to bury that feeling is to eat so much I can't think anymore. But when I'm done.. It consumes me. I.." Tears filled Penny's eyes, and a lump engulfed her throat. But she needed to tell someone. The secrecy was killing her. "I puke it all up, Sheldon. I put my fingers down my throat, and I puke it all up.


	3. Chapter 3 - Tears and Puppy Dogs

Don't own.

Sheldon stared at Penny. His bottomless blue eyes were empty of emotion, except for a slight hint of shock at Penny's confession. He was stood by her door, his arms hanging loosely by his sides, frowning a little.

_oh my god, he's just stood there like a big ol' idiot. Staring at me. Like I'm a freak. Judging me, like everybody else. I trusted him! I thought he's so alienated, he might understand!_

"Well, say something!" Penny snapped.

He didn't.

"For Gawd's sake Sheldon, if you're going to just stand there and judge me, then just get out!" she screamed.

Sheldon turned silently and walked out of her apartment.

When he left, Penny burst into tears. She collapsed on her floor, howling like an abandoned dog, her face dripping wet. She buried her head in her hands, drawing her knees up to her chest. She gasped for breath, clutching at her heart. She knew she was hyperventilating.

_I need to calm down. I can't breathe. I cant breathe. Fuck fuck deep breaths. Damn you Sheldon! _

10 minutes later, Penny was calm again. Wiping her nose, she sniffed, and cleared her throat.

"_Sheldon, I swear to God, if you tell anyone about this, I'll tie you to the back of my brother's truck and drag you so far out.."_

__From inside his apartment, Sheldon smiled sadly.

* * *

__There was a tentative knock on Penny's door. From the couch, she screwed up her eyes and groaned, waiting for the following 'Penny' repeated three times, but after a pause, she rose, narrowing her eyes suspiciously, and opened the door.

Leanord blinked innocently, his hand raised to knock again. He swallowed at the expression on her face.

"Um, hey Penny.. Um, Howard, Raj, Sheldon and I were just wondering if you'd want to come over for dinner.."

"No thanks Leonard."

Penny went to close the door, but he stopped it.

"Look, Penny, I know you and Sheldon argued. And I know you told him something, because he's been moping about in his room all day, and running away from me. I could only convince him to eat with us because I told him that, well, that you'd be with us. So, to conclude, um.. Please?" Leonard trailed off lamely.

Penny's expression had softened at his words. She nodded silently, and walked out with him, shutting the door gently behind her.

* * *

__An uncomfortable silence had settled over Sheldon and Leonard's apartment. Raj and Howard were chewing silently, staring at the floor. Penny was trailing her fork across her rice, and glancing up to glare at Sheldon every few seconds. Sheldon was staring intently at Penny, and Leonard was looking back and forth at both of them, like a confused puppy dog. The silence had been going on for 10 minutes.

"I thought Chinese food had too much sodium for you." Sheldon said.

A completely oblivious Leonard winced, and looked down.

Penny leapt up, hands on hips.

"Oh I'm sorry, Sheldon! I came here to enjoy a nice meal with my friends, I didn't come for a damn interrogation!" Penny yelled, and ran out of the apartment.

A shocked silence followed Penny's outburst.

"Sheldon, go after her!" Leonard exclaimed.

Shelson sighed, dropping his fork with a loud clatter, and followed Penny to her apartment.

**hey guys. I'm having a complete writers block on this story, and to make it worse, this iPad is the most canopying frustrating thing to to type on in the entire world. If you have any ideas, please review! Much love :3**


	4. Chapter 4 - Knocking and Mrs Hofstadter

Knock knock knock.

"Penny."

Knock knock knock.

"Penny."

Knock knock knock.

"Penny."

"Go away Sheldon!"

There was a pause.

Knock knock knock.

"Penn-"

"Oh, for Gawd's sake!"

Penny threw open her apartment door, and glared at Sheldon.

"What the hell do you want, Sheldon?"

Sheldon stood there, staring at Penny. She folded her arms and continued to shoot him a dirty look as he softly finished his knock on her doorframe.

"May I come in, Penny?"

"No."

Sheldon shot Penny a confused look.

"I don't understand why you're so mad at me, Penny."

"Oh really? Something the amazing Dr. Cooper doesn't understand? I didn't think that was possible!"

Sheldon reached out his arm, and gently ran his fingers over the dark circles under Penny's eyes. His hands were strong but comforting, and Penny leant into them, moving aside so the taller man could access the apartment. His hand fell away from her face as he entered.

"Sheldon.. What the hell?" Penny asked breathlessly.

"Google is a magical place, Penny." He replied, rubbing his hand across his t-shirt.

She shook her head, but at his touch her anger had thawed. Outside, the rain pattered against her window.

Sheldon settled down in his chosen spot. He took a deep breath.

"Penny, your symptoms suggest you have an eating disorder." He informed her bluntly. She winced.

"From your lack of denial, I gather you already knew this?" He asked her. She nodded slowly, chewing on her bottom lip.

"Penny, this isn't something you can overcome alone.."

"You can't tell anyone!" Penny yelled.

Sheldon frowned.

"There's nothing wrong with my head! I'm not seeing some creepy old man in a dark office and confessing all my secrets!"

"We'll Penny, I'm not qualified to help you. However, there is one alternative."

"What?"

"As you know, Leonard's mother is a psychiatrist."

Penny leapt up.

"I'm not telling Leonard's mom! Are you insane?!"

"Why not? Doctor-Patient confidentiality forbids her from informing Leonard. She is perfectly qualified, unlike me, and you've met her. She's also female."

"How is her gender relevant?!"

"She's not some creepy old man, as you said."

Sheldon watched Penny as she slowly sat down again.

"Sheldon.. She's not the most comforting person in the world.."

"And that's a bad thing?"

She nodded. Sheldon smiled triumphantly, before turning stern again.

"The point in seeing her isn't to be comforted, Penny. It's to recover."


	5. Chapter 5 - Squirty Cream and Studying

**Hey guys! Sorry for the delay, I hit a little bit of a block. I really wanted to do this idea justice, so it took a little longer. Unbeta'd, so no surprises there. I tried to write in character, I did my best. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Big Bang Theory, just the iPad I wrote it on. Oh wait, I don't own that either. **

* * *

"So. Penny."

Beverly Hofstadter finally looked up from the paperwork she had been shuffling, flattening her hands out on her desk.

"Hello again Beverly." Penny said, flashing Leonard's mother an overly exaggerated smile.

She didn't return the grin, her face remaining impassive.

"What can I help you with?"

Penny shrugged.

"Sheldon informs me that you've been showing characteristics commonly associated with the eating disorder bulimia."

"Really? I never noticed. I guess that's why I'm here then, Mrs. Hofstadter!" Penny exclaimed, plastering another sarcastic smirk on her face.

Beverly snorted.

"Hrmh. Interesting."

"What." Penny snapped.

Beverly ignored Penny, picking up a pencil and scribbling down something. She narrated her notes under her breath however.

'_Uses -sarcasm as -defence -mechanism_' she muttered.

She looked up.

"Why are you here, Penelope?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe the 'self induced' barfing might be a hint!"

Beverly didn't comment on Penny's tone of voice, rather, she examined Penny over the golden rims of her glasses. Penny squirmed, feeling like she was being surveyed under a microscope.

"How long have you been binging and purging?"

"I don't know why you people say purging. For Gawd's sake, just say barfing, or vomiting."

'_Patient maintains a childish attitude towards the terminology utilised to describe her bulimia. Possible resulting from childhood ending too quickly.'_

A silence settled.

"Ten months." Penny admitted in a small voice.

"How often do the cycles occur?"

Penny recrossed her legs and folded her arms, clutching each forearm until her knuckles whitened.

"Um, two or three times?"

"Every..?"

"Day?"

"Are you asking me or telling me?" Beverly mused.

Penny scowled.

"Why do you binge and purge, Penelope?"

"Why do you keep calling me Penelope? You never call me Penelope. It's Penny!"

_'Patient evades uncomfortable questions, another possible defence mechanism.'_

"Fine! I don't know why I do it! Isn't that what you get paid to figure out?"

Beverly smiled coldly, her eyes remaining dark.

_'Patient is rude and unco-operative. Possible result from getting hurt too often when she is nice; rudeness to other people=people not being able to get close enough to hurt.'_

"Are you muttering under your breath just to piss me off?" Penny scowled.

"Do you have a problem with that, Penny?"

Penny opened her mouth, and then shut it, eyeing Beverly suspiciously.

"If I say anything you'll just use it and spout off some random crap about how my dad didn't love me enough so I have a problem with authority figures!"

"And do you have a problem with authority figures?"

"No!" Penny yelled. "Oh my god, you're doing it right now!"

"Penelope. Calm down. I doubt your issues with authority figures coincide with your eating disorder."

"I don't have a problem with-"

"Re-gardless of your denial, I must ask you to focus. What do you feel when you think about food?"

Penny took a deep breath, cocking her head thoughtfully.

"I don't know. I guess I should see it at good, because food is life and all that crap. But.. It's fattening, it's so full of fat. And fat tastes good. I just want to.. Cram the food into my mouth. Even when I'm not hungry. And then I have to vomit it back up, because otherwise I'd get fat."

"And has anyone suspected you may have had an eating disorder?"

"Well, um, no. I remember when my boyfriend Mike wrote all this private crap on his blog, and Leonard came round to my apartment while I was eating ice cream and squirty cream, you know, the one which is in a can? And he stayed there for so long and he asked me out, and I was so distracted because I felt so fat and I just wanted him to leave so that I could go..get rid of it.. So I agreed to go on a date with him."

Her face crumpled, guilt washing through her eyes.

"And I felt so horrible." She sobbed. "Because then he got so excited and he told all the guys and I think Sheldon suspected..."

Beverly held up her hand.

They sat in silence for a few minutes while Beverly's eyes bore into Penny.

"What?" She sniffed, scrubbing her eyes with her sleeve.

"What did Sheldon suspect?"

"That I didn't really want to go out with Leonard, and then he would have looked at me with those big beautiful blue eyes and they'd be so disappointed in me.."

"So the source of your guilt lay with Sheldon's opinion of you lowering?"

Penny frowned.

"Well no.. I mean.. Leonard..and..I didn't..um.."

Beverly waited patiently, studying the array of emotions flashing across Penny's face.

"Yeah.." She finally whispered.

_'Patient possibly in love with Dr. Sheldon Cooper.'_

I don't really know much about psychology so I just had win write what made sense to me. Sorry if its not correct. Italics are Beverly's notes!


	6. Chapter 6-Clipboards and Approval

**Hey guys! I'm so sorry for the delay, I was put in hospital and then I had no Internet these past two weeks. This update is a sort of little tag to the last chapter, so ill post a real chapter too. I promise ill update more. Anyway, here's the new chapter, enjoy!**

Penny stared at Beverly with an open mouth.  
"I'm not in love with Sheldon!" she protested.  
Beverly smiled coldly.  
"H...wha...why would you even think that?!"  
"Well Penelope. Lets think about this logically."  
Beverly crossed her legs, resting the dark clipboard against her thigh.  
"You crave his approval."  
"Yeah but..."  
"You go out of your way to get his approval."  
"That doesn't mean I'm in _love_ with him!"  
"Penelope. You have had regular intercourse with my son.."  
"_BEVERLY_..."  
"May I finish? Thank you. As I was saying, you have regular intercourse with my son, even though you do not love him. Now, I assume most of the sexual activity occurs at his apartment?"  
"I'm really not comfortable discussing this with you!"  
"Irrelevant. From my talks with Sheldon, I gather it does. I was simply extending a pleasantly to give you the illusion of control."  
Penny scowled at Beverly, crossing her arms across her chest.  
"Anyway. You have a perfectly good apartment, so why do you choose to frequent Leonard's apartment when you two have intercourse?"  
"Please just call it sex. Seriously, please. I'm begging you."  
"Penelope, you're evading all the questions I am addressing to you, so I'm going to cut straight to it. You're infatuated with his roommate. You attempt to develop your intelligence for his benefit. You crave his approval, and from what he has told me, regardless to his comfort, you extend overly physical actions to him..."  
"I'm not in love with freakin' Sheldon!" Penny screamed.  
"He's..._Sheldon_! Sheldon who is going out with my best friend, Sheldon who refuses to touch anyone, Sheldon the batcrap crazy man that lives with your son and freaks out when you adjust the thermostat a degree! Sheldon who's obsessed with comic books and wears stupid shirts and..and hugged me when I got him a napkin for Christmas signed by Leonard Nimoy..."  
Penny stopped, tears rolling down her face, laughing through her sobs.  
"And...and he bought me so many baskets of bath salts that Christmas and he came out with them all and he had it all planned out..."  
Beverly smiled.


	7. Chapter 7-The CrushCapability Hypothesis

"Hey, Bernie.."

"Penny! Hey! How's the therapy going?

"Oh, uh, great. How've you been?

"Oh, you know. I asked Howard clean the apartment this morning and you know what he did? He played on his Xbox all day. I swear to God, Penny, its like he can't even do the littlest..."

"I think I'm in love with Sheldon!"

There was a shocked silence on the other end of the phone.

"What?!"

"He's just..so..." Penny's voice quivered.

"Hang on. I'm coming round!"

"...I can't stop you, can I?"

"No."

"...bring liquor."

"Penny!"

"Hey Bernie!"

Penny hugged the sweet smelling blonde and allowed her to rush past.

She dumped the two bottles of wine on the counter and spun round.

"Sheldon?!"

"Hang on."

Penny pulled down a wineglass from the cupboard and filled the glass full of the ruby liquid, drinking it all in one. She slammed her glass down and shuddered.

"Penny, its not a shot."

"I know that, Bernie. Now. Where d'you wanna start."

Bernadette sat down on the couch, raising her eyebrows.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe you should start with the part about how the hell, out of all the men on the planet, you're in love with Sheldon?"

Penny poured herself another glassful of wine, and leant against the top as the sipped it, swirling it round thoughtfully.

"I don't really know how it happened, honestly. He's like an annoying little bug that you can't get off, but when y'do finally manage to flick it off, well, it makes you sad because its gone..."

Penny's face crumpled.

"No crying!" Bernadette snapped. Penny's head snapped up.

"You tell me the whole story and no tears!"

Penny snorted with laughter.

"God Bernie, you'd make such a good mother." She said, wandering over to the couch and sitting next to her. Bernadette gestured for Penny to carry on.

"Bernadette...do you think he feels the same way?"

Bernadette chewed her lip.

"Penny...I mean, it's Sheldon. Is he even capable of a crush?"

"I don't know. But I do know now he'd never admit it even if he did. Maybe it's hopeless." Penny slumped backwards.

"It's not hopeless!" Bernadette chirped. "Here's what we're gonna do."

Penny rapped on the door to apartment 4A.

"Oh hey Penny. You want to join us?" Leonard asked. Penny saw Raj wave a fork at her in the background.

"Oh hey Raj. What's up."

Raj's eyes widened, and he stood up and stiffly walked to the fridge, hiding his face with the open door. Penny chuckled to herself, and turned back to Leonard.

"No, I'm not stopping. I just came by to tell you that I'm having a little party at my place tonight. Nothing too big, just inviting a few friends over. You guys wanna come?"

"I'll definitely be there." Howard smirked from across the room.

"Hey Slimeball, you're married now. No more..being slimy."

Howard shrugged, turning his attention back to his food.

"We'll be there, thanks for the invite Penny." Leonard murmured.

"Leonard!"

"I'll see you later Penny. Sheldon summons." He smiled in mock delight.

"Cool. Well, party starts at 9. But.. Don't actually turn up at 9 this time."

"Well, um, what time should we be there?"

"Say 10?"

"Ok."

Leonard went to shut the door, but it was blocked by a boot.

"Wow. Those are new!"

Penny smirked, glancing down and admiring her feet. The boots were just above knee length, with sharp heels raising her up at least three inches.

"Yeah. Hey, I forgot to mention. The party's themed."

"Oh cool. What's the theme?"

Penny grinned mischievously. She beckoned Leonard closer, leaning down to murmur in his ear.

"Creatures of The Dark." She whispered, her sweet breath tickling his head.

Leonard shivered, staring after the blonde girl even though she had gone into her apartment long ago.


	8. Chapter 8-Aspartame and Vampire Teeth

Penny gently touched Sheldon's cheek, her fingers like fire against the ivory surface. A flush fluttered along his face, and his eyes lowered, dark with desire. Eyelashes black as soot framed the beautiful blue depths of those magnificent eyes.  
Penny smiled.

"Oh my god." Penny whispered. Her daydream had emerged as soon as she laid eyes on Sheldon. Sheldon Cooper, her nerdy, anal neighbour was..well..  
He was gorgeous.  
There was menacing expression on his face, to put it lightly. His black look of rage was directed at the scrawny smaller man stood next to him, grinning aimlessly and clutching a carrier bag full of...something. She really didn't care. The expression on Sheldon's face had completely changed his whole image. There was an aura of danger hanging round the tall man. Usually, Penny wouldn't notice such a thing, but because of the way Sheldon was dressed..well, it just completely fuckered up her perception of him.  
He was dressed in a dark tuxedo, and a matching dark grey shirt. His face was completely white, impossibly so, but his whole eye area was shadowed as he stood against the doorway. And he had vampire teeth in.  
Damn, Sheldon Cooper was _hot_!  
Penny actually giggled out loud at the absurdity of that statement. Sheldon Cooper was not the kind of person described as hot. Annoying, sure. Murder-provoking, definitely. But hot? No.  
"Hey guys!" She chirped. She had been ogling them from the corner, and after snapping herself out of it, grabbed a tray full of drinks and clattered over to meet them at the door.  
Leonard, Howard and Raj's mouths all simultaneously fell open. Sheldon barely spared her a second glance, shifting uncomfortably.  
"You make a cute werewolf Leonard!" she forced herself to say, offering them drinks.  
"It's too hot in here Penny. And there are too many people. Leonard, why did you have to make me wear this suit? The colour black has been proven to absorb 60% more heat then white. White would have been much more practical in this environment."  
"Nice to see you too, Sheldon." Penny smiled through gritted teeth.  
She offered the tray of drinks.  
"Do these contain alcohol?" Sheldon asked, eyeing the drinks suspiciously.  
"Yes."  
"I don't drink alcohol."  
"Oh, loosen up, dude!" Raj called. He had already drunk half of his vodka coke. He poked Sheldon in the ribs. Sheldon stiffened quite considerably.  
"Raj, do not poke me. I have no wish for your hands to be in any proximity to me, because as the saying goes.. 'I do not know where they have been'."  
With that, he walked slowly over to the corner of her apartment and perched rigidly on the edge of a wooden chair.  
"This is going to be a long night..." Howard sighed. "Hello ladies..."

"Penny!"

"Penny!"

"Penny!"  
"Sheldon! What?!"  
Sheldon scowled.  
"No need to be rude, Penny. All I wanted was a re-fill on this Coke."  
"Get it yourself!"  
"I can't. The vast majority of the drinks in this room contain a large amount of some form of ethanol, or as you know it, alcohol."  
"So, there's Diet Coke in the fridge!"  
"Penny, Diet Coke contains Aspartame."  
"Oh god, I don't even want to know what that is."  
"Now Penny, you'd do well to be aware of the risks and the controversy surrounding the artificial sweetener Aspartame. Discovered in 19..."  
"Fine, I'll get you a goddamn coke!"  
"Thank you. And please hurry up. It is very warm in here."

Penny giggled as she poured the coke into a plastic cup. She knelt down on the floor, her hands shaking, and brought out the bottle of vodka.

"How you doing there, Sheldon?!"  
Three cups of "just coke" later, Penny and Sheldon were the main focus of the party. He had grabbed her wrist as the song Blind Faith by Chase and Status began to roar out of the speakers. All her lights were out, but she had decorated her apartment beforehand with shiny rainbow lights, so the colours lit up the room in eerily beautiful colours.  
Sheldon was spinning her around the room, his pupils blown up like a cat's. he was shaking like mad but there was a crazy, delirious grin lighting up his face. And he moved so gracefully, swirling her around the floor with ease until adrenaline was rushing through her veins. One of his hands moved to the top of her back, his fingers entangling with the corset lacing of the lacy top she was wearing. She had come as a vampire too, and had worn a corset top with shimmery black half-transparent tights and her new boots. Her eyes were lined with kohl and her straightened hair was mildly back combed.

At 6am, the apartment was mostly empty, except for Penny and Sheldon in a giggling huddle on the floor. Sheldon had his back against the wall, knees drawn up to his chest and smiling aimlessly. Penny was slumped next to him, giggling like mad. Both their cheeks were flushed and Sheldon was still shaking.  
"You had makeup onn." Penny slurred, running one finger across Sheldon's prominent jawbone and frowning at the streak of white on her nail.  
"Leonard made me." He murmured.  
"Leonardddd..." She giggled. "I used to go out with a guy called Leonard..."  
"Yes Penny, and you two broke up because he wasn't right for you."  
"So who is right for mee..." She whispered, tripping over each word as it rolled clumsily off her tongue.  
"Someo'e who l'ves youu and caress about who you tt truly a'e." he slurred, his eyes drifting shut. He slipped down the back of the wall and landed in an awkward heap on the floor, now taking light, even breaths.  
"Someone like youuu." She responded, and landed next to him, her head on his chest, and passed out too.  
A small smile played across Sheldon's lips.


End file.
